Sending you so much love! I think your dream is a nocturnal stocktake of your life journey. You’re searching for who you are, your life, the one you built for yourself where you feel at peace and at home, so it starts off with him at your happy place, yet it’s not - the stripped back version represents the state of the world and trying to find your way in a new set of normals. Mums car in Adelaide (I’m assuming we’re talking the Capri and H St) the vehicle represents getting somewhere which is what you’re trying to do and that place, at that time is when you started to become you. Before this you were a much loved child who didn’t really think about the world around them or your place in it. Yet the was something before all this that is a huge part of who you are. Scotland is ingrained, it’s an instinct, it’s the soundtrack to your childhood. Every part of my body thrumbs to the beat of marching band, it’s as though my DNA hears the call of our people and responds before I’m even consciously aware of the sound. You know Scotland, yet you don’t know it, seeing that receipt and knowing it was Scottish but not being able to picture it or ‘prove it’ makes a lot of sense to me. Without Scotland there would be no Adelaide, without Adelaide there would be no London life with Bunnies and love. It feels to me like your dream was a mental stock take, retracing the steps and major ports on your life journey, now it’s time to take the next step.
I can believe but I am appalled at how you have been treated in the workplace. You’ve always been the smartest person in the room, that is an incredibly hard room to be in x
If you’re last in line for a flight home then I’m second last. That doesn’t make you a bad person, that just makes you a women who knows herself. Why spend thousands to feel miserable? Your truth can hurt others but other people’s feelings are not your responsibility. They need to accept that if they love you, they wouldn’t ask you to be miserable just to fill a need in them. Do your ember telling me the last time we saw each other (perhaps you were home for your 30th?) I can’t remember the exact words used, being there was bringing up old memories and feelings of a person you no longer are or want to revisit. It’s not about not wanting to visit the people you love, it’s about knowing you can’t afford to pay the toll it takes on your psyche... you’ll be pleased to know my son has assured me he’s inventing teleporting when he’s a scientist, pop in for a quick cuppa and a hug, now back to my life, sounds perfect.
I hope that through this journey you take a little swim in the NLP pond. Neurolinguistic Programming. It pained me to see ‘smugly’ written in reference to your abilities m. It’s time to allow yourself your wins, your joys, your successes, it’s not smug to be proud, enjoy or even revel in the fact you excel at writing (and many other things). The most important story we will ever hear, is the one we tell ourselves x
Thank you for being so open about your process and for naming the black dog of depression. No one who has never experienced it can (mercifully) not understand what it is. My heart goes out to you. Trusting one's feelings in a world that commodifies happiness is challenging, but also a radical and self-compassionate act.
I think you were dreaming about the elusive search for safety (mom, hubs) and control (petrol, car). And defo missing Oz in a womblike way. Sorry the ways of the world are so sucky right now. xx
Sending you so much love! I think your dream is a nocturnal stocktake of your life journey. You’re searching for who you are, your life, the one you built for yourself where you feel at peace and at home, so it starts off with him at your happy place, yet it’s not - the stripped back version represents the state of the world and trying to find your way in a new set of normals. Mums car in Adelaide (I’m assuming we’re talking the Capri and H St) the vehicle represents getting somewhere which is what you’re trying to do and that place, at that time is when you started to become you. Before this you were a much loved child who didn’t really think about the world around them or your place in it. Yet the was something before all this that is a huge part of who you are. Scotland is ingrained, it’s an instinct, it’s the soundtrack to your childhood. Every part of my body thrumbs to the beat of marching band, it’s as though my DNA hears the call of our people and responds before I’m even consciously aware of the sound. You know Scotland, yet you don’t know it, seeing that receipt and knowing it was Scottish but not being able to picture it or ‘prove it’ makes a lot of sense to me. Without Scotland there would be no Adelaide, without Adelaide there would be no London life with Bunnies and love. It feels to me like your dream was a mental stock take, retracing the steps and major ports on your life journey, now it’s time to take the next step.
I can believe but I am appalled at how you have been treated in the workplace. You’ve always been the smartest person in the room, that is an incredibly hard room to be in x
If you’re last in line for a flight home then I’m second last. That doesn’t make you a bad person, that just makes you a women who knows herself. Why spend thousands to feel miserable? Your truth can hurt others but other people’s feelings are not your responsibility. They need to accept that if they love you, they wouldn’t ask you to be miserable just to fill a need in them. Do your ember telling me the last time we saw each other (perhaps you were home for your 30th?) I can’t remember the exact words used, being there was bringing up old memories and feelings of a person you no longer are or want to revisit. It’s not about not wanting to visit the people you love, it’s about knowing you can’t afford to pay the toll it takes on your psyche... you’ll be pleased to know my son has assured me he’s inventing teleporting when he’s a scientist, pop in for a quick cuppa and a hug, now back to my life, sounds perfect.
I hope that through this journey you take a little swim in the NLP pond. Neurolinguistic Programming. It pained me to see ‘smugly’ written in reference to your abilities m. It’s time to allow yourself your wins, your joys, your successes, it’s not smug to be proud, enjoy or even revel in the fact you excel at writing (and many other things). The most important story we will ever hear, is the one we tell ourselves x
Thank you for being so open about your process and for naming the black dog of depression. No one who has never experienced it can (mercifully) not understand what it is. My heart goes out to you. Trusting one's feelings in a world that commodifies happiness is challenging, but also a radical and self-compassionate act.
I think you were dreaming about the elusive search for safety (mom, hubs) and control (petrol, car). And defo missing Oz in a womblike way. Sorry the ways of the world are so sucky right now. xx